Proof-Facts

A lady at work recently got the swine flu and has survived, but is now withholding the antibodies in a truly insidious move.  If I can get some of her blood and mix it with mine then I can become invincible to the swine flu.   I think the selfishness evident here is of the worst kind.  I mean, if I had precious antibodies in my blood that could be mixed with the blood of commoners to save them from their ills, then I would share it.  Now, would I charge them for it, of course, but the antibodies would be available for purchase.  This lady is simply hoarding them all for herself when she is already swine flu invincible.  She should be expecting a call from my lawyer about this issue.

Brett Favre will be coming back to the NFL again this year after signing with the Vikings.  This immediately begs the question:  How much is NBC paying him to come back?

Why is that question so prevalent?  Because, dumbass, think about it.  John Madden LOVES Brett Favre.  Just do any combo of madden, favre, john, brett, popcorn machine, or  turkduken on youtube and you will see that this is true.  John Madden loves Brett Favre so much that he retired because he thought Favre was finally done.  Now that Favre is returning Madden will undoubtedly want to return as well.

Now, who benefits from Madden returning?  NBC of course.  John Madden is the only announcer to ever drive ratings to football, so he is immensely important to NBC.  Yeah, I know a lot of people hate madden, but a ton more love him.  So while Favre’s official contract is in the 10-12 million range,  I’m assuming his NBC payday to be at least twice that number.

Mark my words, John Madden will be back in the NBC booth by week 1 of the NFL season.

I was checking some of the google analytics data for proof-facts the other day and I noticed that there was somebody in the Boston area visiting the site.  If that person is you, and you’re a hot chick, leave a comment with you’re phone number.  If, on the other hand, you’re Tom Brady, you should let me hit it off that hot ass wife you got.

Now Tom, I’ve never been in a 3-way with another dude before, but I think we could make this work.  Just as long as you face the corner, don’t look at me, and remain in complete silence as I plow the Mrs.  Also, I like for the women to call me Samson, so if you could prep Gisele that would be great.  One last thing, and I’m sure I don’t need to tell you this since you read the site, but I’m going to need to have a large container of applesauce bedside for this.

Go buy the Nashville, TN house that Steve McNair is sure to be haunting.  The only downfall is that the skank Saleh Kazemi comes with the house as well.

So apparently google was all like, hey lets make the labels all ugly, add some extra settings nobody needs and then we’ll remove the best lab feature we got.  What the fuck google.  I mean, I know that there are probably greasemonkey scripts to move the labels back to the right, and different skins to make them look better, but why the FUCK would I want to go to all that trouble when all google had to do was not shit the bed.  They willie randolphed this, without a doubt.