Proof-Facts

As a man of many interests, I attended a WNBA game this weekend between the Indiana Fever and New York Liberty.  Many who know me would tell you that is the last place you would ever see me, but I’ll tell what, those lesbo’s almost sold me.   The fun I had keeping track of missed layups (15-30 for the game) and passes to no one (12) kept my interest piqued right to the very end.  After the 3rd the two teams had combined for an unthinkable 11-18 on layups.  You read that right, WNBA players were shooting at a 61.1% clip from 2 feet and in.

As I sat in  disbelief at the teams taking a run at the holy grail of a 50% plus shooting from 2 feet, they fell back to earth.  In a shooting display the likes of which many WNBA fans have seen before, the teams went on an epic 4-12 run to close the game and finish at a still high percentage (for women).

When watching the game played at that high of level you get to thinking things like: What if all these women had been aborted, what would I be doing right now?  Alas, without a time machine, a back alley, and a hanger I’ll never know the answer to that question.

Julia Roberts has way too many teeth. A regular person has 32 teeth while HorseMouth has around 647 teeth. All of which are twice the size of regular people teeth. Also, HorseMouth thinks it’s attractive to completely open her mouth and display all 647 teeth when she thinks something is funny. She is wrong.

The interesting fact about HorseMouth is that the FBI only allows her to brush her teeth once a day because if she brushed twice a day like most people do the rest of America would not have toothpaste. As it stands now she uses so much toothpaste that tiny starving kids in Africa can’t brush their teeth at night, and that’s the only food those kids get. So basically HorseMouth is responsible for all the starving kids in Africa. It’s science.

As you can tell, Roberts was clearly sired by a horse.