Proof-Facts

I made a site and I need some high quality links to point to it so it will get indexed. I’m sure that this is going to do the trick because we are getting hundreds of thousands of visits per century. My other site is sure to get tons of traffic now.

Go find a car for sale from findacar.us. Notice how the URL doesn’t start with www? That’s because I’m smart and lazy and don’t need to type it in for the site to work. In fact, findacar.us ranks a Class B (optimal class) by the site no-www.org and is now immortalized on their site forever.

A Toilet Seat Disaster is exactly what it sounds like. It is when your toilet seat has encountered a natural, or even unnatural, disaster.

This could possibly be the holy grail of toilet seat disasters. In fact, I just puked a little bit in my mouth.

Most people that I know usually give the toilet seat a wipe down just before taking a seat, regardless of whether you find some sort of substance on the seat or if it is apparently “clean.”

Well what do you do when you find shit smeared on the toilet seat? Yes, you heard that right, human shit smeared on a toilet seat. I hope the first thing you did after reading that was think, “How the hell does shit get smeared into a toilet seat?”, because that is exactly what went through my mind as I encountered this at work the other day.

The next thing that goes through one’s mind is, “Do I wipe this off, I mean it is someone else’s shit?” The answer to that is obviously NO, people get paid low wages to do that for you. I don’t care if you wipe it down then put numerous sanitary seat covers on it, there is still human shit deep in that seat. The only obvious way to get out of this, is to find a new stall and enjoy your, hopefully, shitless toilet seat.

A Poop Terrorist is a danger in any office. Most likely, everyone reading this has seen the wrath that a Poop Terrorist can bring to any restroom. Picture this: You stroll into a stall and look into the toilet only to be assaulted with what you can only imagine a rabid gorilla could accomplish with a week of preparation.

Poop Terrorists feel that it is their right to use twenty times more toilet paper than necessary, and then leave it precariously situated on top of what they just dispensed. Then, they think that the rules don’t apply to them so they FUCKING LEAVE IT IN THE TOILET WITHOUT FLUSHING. These people feel that they are above everyone else, and that everyone should have to see/smell their waste every time they de-clench.

Now we here at proof-facts are not above some toilet humor, however, Poop Terrorists should not be allowed to poop willy-nilly without repercussions. The office some proof-facts contributors work at is currently suffering from a Poop Terrorist and you better believe we are on the case.

Update: We have the identity of the Poop Terrorist and are waiting until it is most advantageous to divulge it.