Proof-Facts

I was checking some of the google analytics data for proof-facts the other day and I noticed that there was somebody in the Boston area visiting the site.  If that person is you, and you’re a hot chick, leave a comment with you’re phone number.  If, on the other hand, you’re Tom Brady, you should let me hit it off that hot ass wife you got.

Now Tom, I’ve never been in a 3-way with another dude before, but I think we could make this work.  Just as long as you face the corner, don’t look at me, and remain in complete silence as I plow the Mrs.  Also, I like for the women to call me Samson, so if you could prep Gisele that would be great.  One last thing, and I’m sure I don’t need to tell you this since you read the site, but I’m going to need to have a large container of applesauce bedside for this.

Go buy the Nashville, TN house that Steve McNair is sure to be haunting.  The only downfall is that the skank Saleh Kazemi comes with the house as well.

So apparently google was all like, hey lets make the labels all ugly, add some extra settings nobody needs and then we’ll remove the best lab feature we got.  What the fuck google.  I mean, I know that there are probably greasemonkey scripts to move the labels back to the right, and different skins to make them look better, but why the FUCK would I want to go to all that trouble when all google had to do was not shit the bed.  They willie randolphed this, without a doubt.

As a man of many interests, I attended a WNBA game this weekend between the Indiana Fever and New York Liberty.  Many who know me would tell you that is the last place you would ever see me, but I’ll tell what, those lesbo’s almost sold me.   The fun I had keeping track of missed layups (15-30 for the game) and passes to no one (12) kept my interest piqued right to the very end.  After the 3rd the two teams had combined for an unthinkable 11-18 on layups.  You read that right, WNBA players were shooting at a 61.1% clip from 2 feet and in.

As I sat in  disbelief at the teams taking a run at the holy grail of a 50% plus shooting from 2 feet, they fell back to earth.  In a shooting display the likes of which many WNBA fans have seen before, the teams went on an epic 4-12 run to close the game and finish at a still high percentage (for women).

When watching the game played at that high of level you get to thinking things like: What if all these women had been aborted, what would I be doing right now?  Alas, without a time machine, a back alley, and a hanger I’ll never know the answer to that question.

So Steve Jobs got a transplant to save his life, and the transplant list keepers say he was  the sickest man on the list.  Well, I doubt that very much.  Especially considering the following:

Steve Jobs keeps farms of kids in foreign countries so he can harvest their organs when he needs them.  How else could a liver be so easily delivered?  Statistics that I didn’t just make up show that only 1 in 75 people on the waiting list ever get a liver.

He also feeds only on the aborted fetus’ of women he impregnates soley for this purpose.  He does this to get the precious stem cells needed to keep himself young.

So as this shows, mac fanboys are just perpuating the slaughter of young children the world over just so they can get their hands on the next iphone app that doesn’t matter.  Also, your OS is based on linux, but you get to overpay by about 1000%.